Memory Glitching

Been working on a body of work that utilizes old photos that I took during road trip years back (like 15ish?). Years back I was making paintings based off of them but that time has come and gone. The memories are faded. It’s hard to believe that that time ever occurred. That I was ever outside of my house and in the wide open country.

And when those memories come they’re glitched. Certain things are out of place, colors have either faded or been exacerbated. Detail has been lost or muddled.

So that’s what I’m trying to represent–a moment in time that is gone for me. Nothing more than a pictorial representation of some memories that may or may not be true.

I’ve also started making screen recordings of the process. I believe the documentation of their creation to be essential. A combination of how the sausage gets made disgust and intrinsic awe at the nonchalance utilization of multiple permutations of glitch.

Which then pushes me past the notion of art making. You can control the glitch and when you’re combining them there’s a million different ways you can take it. This is impressive. Also, since there’s no shortage of data storage space anymore you can make these millions but you must always just choose one.

Life is unfair.

Terminal Nostalgia

I got through quiet spells. To force conversation or words or even utterances past a couple syllables from me is near impossible.

I don’t enjoy this quietude. My brain is active–always thinking, planning. Entire projects get built in my mind from beginning to end. Plans are seen to fruition. Lives come and go.

But there I sit thinking.

It is in these moments that nostalgia hits. I live vast lives in worlds I’ve never seen. In times I’ve never been a part of and places I’ll never go. The causes of such a nostalgia can be anything from an old song to a glance at an advertisement. Old movies, buildings, etc.

The nostalgia is certainly terminal. It causes action to die and a life ever after to be lived in my head.

How many times must I be an tragic film noir figure before the end credits finally roll?